


Staring Down the Barrel

by muse_of_mbaku



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Character(s) of Color, F/M, Female Character of Color, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:42:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27129422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muse_of_mbaku/pseuds/muse_of_mbaku
Summary: Kevin Atwater is restless. Unsatisfied with his standard undercover fare, he wants something bigger and better. Enter the chance to go deep cover as the bodyguard of Kaia Alexander, one of Chicago’s new wave of criminal masterminds. Can Kevin reconcile his duty to protect his city while trying to battle his growing attachment to the woman who is dangerous to both his body and his heart?
Comments: 4
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Recommended Listening: Serve This Royalty by Cody Chestnutt and What Kind of Cool (Questlove Remix) by Cody Chestnutt
> 
> A/N: Just a little setup for our story. Enjoy! I’m going to try to post once weekly and so far I think there will be about 5 to 8 chapters depending on length

Chicago had its history. It had its dark corners, choked alleyways, and bitter winds that made it hard to acclimate. It was like the city was always on edge—on the cusp of exploding. That was unless you knew where to look and where to land. Kevin grew up among the asphalt and the tall buildings. Among the violence and the hope that seemed to balance each other out depending on the day, the hour, or the minute. 

He pressed the pedal to the floor and took off from the light in a burst of speed. The engine growled beneath the hood while the tires fishtailed slightly in the fresh layer of snow still falling and gathering in the street. Chicago winters weren’t for the faint of heart nor was driving before the plows and salt trucks had made their passes on the throughfares. Police work didn’t care about that, though. When the phone rang, no matter the time or the weather, Kevin slid behind the wheel and rolled out. He passed a few slower moving cars with ease to cut his arrival time by minutes. Ahead, just over the horizon, he saw the familiar wash of red and blue.

Three A.M. 

Prime off the book hours if the sight of Voight and Olinsky chatting near a pile of bloodied slush meant anything. Just like Kevin knew his city’s history, he knew the two of them speaking while barely moving their mouths was nothing but trouble and orders to do what it took. Exiting his car into the freezing night, Kevin pulled his hat down against his ears and shoved his hands into his pockets. His boots sank and rose in the dirty snow until he reached the semi-circle gathered around the remains of what looked like somebody’s head or chest cavity. 

“Nice of you to join us,” Voight called out. 

Knowing better than to light the fuse, Kevin shrugged and dipped his head in deference. Chicago had also told him everything didn’t need to be a battle. Sometimes it was better to conserve your energy for later. This was one of those times. He fell into the story quickly. One body, two sets of tire tracks with only one car left behind, carnage caused by a high-powered weapon, and little else to go on. Standard fare no matter the weather, the time, or the day. He took the perimeter with Burgess, falling into their standard roles and banter. 

“Took you long enough to get here,” she chided.

“Got here as quick as I could. Some of us sleep.”

He hadn’t been asleep. He’d been in bed for hours tossing and turning and staring up at the ceiling. Kevin was restless. Tired of the standard undercover assignments. Roleplay a drug dealer. Make a deal. Chase the bad guy. Repeat. It was beginning to grate on him. He’d worked hard to not be the stereotype and here he was pretending to be exactly that. He’d been able to push down his feelings of disappointment and anger, but it was becoming harder. He needed, wanted, more than that. Maybe he’d make a little noise the next time something came around and he’d be able to really make some kind of difference on a major scale.

“You alright? You seem a bit off.” 

Kevin threw a sideways glance at Burgess. He hesitated, but thought better of it. He returned his attention back to the slush and snow at his feet.

“I’ve been thinking. There’s gotta be more, you know? How many dealers we get off the street that just multiply the next day?” 

“Enough to make a difference, right? We’re doing something.”

“It’s not enough anymore.” 

He caught the glint of brass in the snow. It stood out between the white and the shock of dark, congealing blood. He whistled over a patrol officer to photograph the casing and rose to follow a trail of reddened snow to the car left behind.

“Looks like our body caught its first shell here,” he said and turned to point towards where the body had finally fallen. “Then ran towards the street, took another bullet, and lights out.” 

***

By the time Kevin found himself back in his car, the sun was beginning to peek over the horizon and there was no point in trying to sleep. He took the empty early morning streets to the district and dropped heavily into the worn chair at his desk. He swept the room with a mixture of boredom and annoyance. He honed in on every chip in the paint, the scarred top of his desk, and the shadow of prior cases on the whiteboard. They did good work here, but it all felt nickel and dime. Like grinding against something impossible to crack. 

“I figured you were headed back here. Step into my office.”

Voight’s gravelly voice grew and shrank in volume as he moved up the stairs, past Kevin’s desk, and through the open door of his sanctum. Kevin pushed from the chair and scrubbed a hand over his burning eyes and followed as ordered.

“You know how I’ve survived so long? Here and on the streets?”

Voight nodded towards the chair across from his desk and waited until Kevin settled to continue. 

“Observation. People have patterns, habits, tells. Something changes you need to figure out why and fast.” 

Voight’s knuckles rapped on the heavy desk. 

“It all helps me figure out where to put the pieces. How to best work the system and the cases.”

Kevin gave a small noise of acknowledgement and crossed his arms against his chest.

“And right now? I’m having a hard time figuring out why your tells have changed.”

And there it was. For as much Kevin thought he was tucking away his wanderlust and his disinterest, it was clear as day.

“You don’t want to be here. That’s easy as hell to see, but that gets us killed. That gets covers blown so I need you to man up and tell me exactly what the issue is so we can get it sorted.”

Kevin opened his mouth to protest, stopped, and started to lie before giving himself a moment to compose his thoughts. 

“I want to head up a case. No drugs, not being a thug for hire.”

Voight gave a short bark of laughter. “That right? We’re handpicking assignments now?”

Kevin leaned forward and braced his elbows on his knees. “Nah. Just putting it out there. Something comes up I just want a fair shake at it.” 

“I hear ya. I’ll keep it in mind. ‘Til then get your head in the game before you get one of us hurt.”

***

“The target is Kaia Alexander,” Voight said as he tapped the photo tacked to the whiteboard with the back of his hand. “Intelligence says she’s the number two in a laundering business that’s just coming to surface.”

Kevin honed in on the picture. While he could appreciate the full lips and beautiful face caught in profile by the surveillance photo, he was more interested in how she came to such power completely under the radar. How, from what the file in his hand said, she was damn near the head of an international ring that laundered not only money, but when the price was right also moved guns and classified information. All that power and influence and not a single whisper of her on the streets. It set Kevin’s mind into a motion that pushed back his wanderlust albeit only temporarily. 

“Running her name was a bust. No priors, not even a traffic ticket we can find. Either she’s covered by Christ himself or she’s got dirt on every player in town.”

A ripple of agreement about the latter filled the room. Kevin leaned back in his chair, now more interested than ever in just what this Kaia Alexander knew and from where she’d appeared. 

“We got the go ahead to infiltrate her inner circle. Seems Ms. Alexander is in the market for a new bodyguard. Her most recent one seems to have met with some foul play. Lucky for us, we put a word out on the streets and looks like Kevin is going to make a run at it.”

Kevin felt the clamp of Ruzek’s hand on his shoulder and accepted the fist bump that followed.

“So, here’s how this is going to work. Kevin’s back story is already set. He’s now Christopher Kevin James.”

“Three names like a serial killer!” Ruzek blurted out, but was quickly silenced by Voight clearing his throat and continuing. 

“I’m sure our target has already run his name and run into what we laid out. Two stints at Danville for weapons charges and aggravated assault. Former muscle for some other low-key crews in the city. Real professional and discreet. Discreet enough she’s taking the word of our CI to bring you in.”

He tossed a file onto the desk in front of Kevin. “Study up. You meet her in two days.” 

***

Kaia turned her head to one side at the soft pressure of the braider’s fingers against her temple. She readjusted in the seat, fighting the urge to reach up and see how many braids were left. Six hours in and she was tired and hungry. 

“Three more,” the braider laughed out. 

“Thank the Lord!”

She closed her eyes and reveled in the beam of sun that had fallen directly on her face from the doorway. No matter what she may be involved in, Kaia always made it a point to come back to the same braid shop when she needed her hair done. It was disorganized at times, got a little chilly in winter depending on if the heat was consistently working, and there was never anywhere to park, but she knew when she stepped back onto the street her hair was just as she liked it and heads turned. She’d swallow those minor inconveniences for a good product and familiarity. 

“It’s been a minute since you’ve been in. Everything good?”

Kaia wished she could be honest, but honesty let good people get caught up in a bad life. The last year had been full of new highs and lows she would rather forget. She’d watched the explosion her guard’s brain and felt the warm stickiness of it coating her face in the brief moment of shock she was allowed before she returned fire with his discarded gun. She’d laid low and worked her connects until she regained her footing and now it was time to reemerge. She’d been lax before. And it had cost her dearly.

“Of course! Work just get a little busy at times. Things are slowing down, though,” she lied easily because in the center of that lie was a kernel of the truth. 

She closed her eyes again and let her body move to the rhythm of the braider’s over and under—crafting the ropes of hair that skimmed the center of Kaia’s back. It was a moment of peace; one Kaia had needed desperately. 

The first blast of cold air when Kaia stepped out of the shop was like magic. She’d entered just after the doors had unlocked and now it was high in the afternoon. She took a glance down at her watch. Understated and elegant. It was risky being out alone, but Kaia took her security seriously. There were plenty of people she could employ. Trusting them was another story. She hadn’t survived this long by being sloppy. The one time she had nearly cost her everything. 

What she needed to do for the moment was blend in. She took a quick glance towards either side of the block to make sure there were no lurkers who looked more out of place than normal then hailed a cab to make it to her next appointment on time. A few moments before two she stepped into a swirl of snow in front of a café in Lincoln Park. Arrive early and get the lay of the land was rule number one in any public setting since that night of blood. 

Kaia found a table near the rear of the café, facing the door, and shrugged the camel colored overcoat from her shoulders. She adjusted her oversized white button up and took a seat. Before long, the telltale ding of the door opening drew her attention. He was there and walking straight towards her like a magnet. She was impressed in more ways than one. 

“Mr. James.”

Kaia extended her hand across the table as he sat. He pulled the leather gloves from his hands and gave it a firm squeeze.

“Mrs. Alexander. Nice to meet you.”

“Ms.”

“Just trying to be respectful. My apologies.”

“None taken, though I’m quite sure that was you fishing for info,” she said as she dunked a tea bag into the steaming water in front of her. “To that end, I am not married. No children. Any family you will never know or have contact with. Is that clear, Christopher?”

She wanted to test his patience. See how he tolerated being spoken to brusquely. 

“That is understood, Ms. Alexander. Please call me Kevin. It’s my middle name.”

“I’m quite aware. Christopher Kevin James. Born and bred son of Chicago. Funny thing is? Your name doesn’t ring any bells. No nicknames or crew affiliations that really mean anything. Why is that?”

“People who are good at this kind of work don’t ring bells. They do what they’re told cleanly and quietly.”

Kaia hummed and studied him for a moment. “You come highly recommended. I’m sure you know my last associate met an untimely end.”

“I’d heard as much. Didn’t get too many details about it though.”

“That’s intentional. Quietly and cleanly, right? Plus, I don’t care for extraneous people in my circle. People serve purposes. They have jobs.”

She added a careful scoop of sugar into her tea and stirred it. 

“I find little sense in wasting time, money, or energy on such things. Truly, you’ll serve several purposes. Protection being the primary one, of course. Meaning muscle, transport, and assisting. You’ll be needed around the clock. If any of this is a problem? Tell me now and we can go our separate ways.”

Kaia took a measured sip of the hot liquid and studied Kevin over the rim of the mug. He was a sight. She’d watched him exit the black sports car across the street and wait patiently for the traffic to pass before striding confidently across it. She may be all business, but Kaia knew a fine man when she saw one. Tall, sturdy, and beautiful enough to distract. _Better to get it out now_ , she mused. 

“I can get with that. Tell me what you need and I got you.”

She smiled ruefully. 

“Good. And call me Kaia.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Listening: Avenue by H.E.R., Crush by Yuna

What Kevin knew about luxury was that it didn’t need to be flashy to be expensive. He’d spied the heavy wool of Kaia’s coat, the matte gold watch circling her wrist, and the quiet elegance she exuded in her movements and her words. Those words were clipped, but they were rounded at the edges. Silky as much as they were sharp. He felt the test in them, too. Her prodding to see just how far down her nose she could talk to him before he bucked against it. A primal part of him wanted to bark back at her and see if fire danced in her eyes. Kevin imagined it would. It would probably burn down the city.

He’d kind of wanted to take the chance. He hadn’t, though.

Walking into her place was a culture shock. The squat brick building, from the outside, looked like any of the warehouses along some of the narrow side streets of the city. They once bustled with businesses, but now were either falling into disrepair or waiting for some development company to come along and whitewash everything. Inside, though? It was warm, all of the open space tastefully decorated in shades of cream, blush, grey, and gold. Elegant and refined. Just like Kevin’s assessment of Kaia. But he’d assessed something else, too.

He knew beneath that culture was something wild and restless just like him. He could see it in the way she absently stirred her tea at the café, like she was aching for something to do with her hands. She had her ticks, tells, and habits just like Voight said everyone did. It would serve him well to learn all of them, but for now Kevin knew at least one. When she was anxious, she fidgeted. Rubbing the left lobe of her ear was the biggest tick of them all. Kevin had watched her make the small gesture more than a handful of times during their first meeting.

“I don’t like bodies.”

Kevin turned from his assessment of her bookcases to find her leaving the bottom step of the staircase he could only assume led to her private quarters. She’d shown him to a guestroom down a short hall from the main entrance. He appreciated the sightlines if something jumped off. He wasn’t too sure about the distance between them, though. It made it hard to protect her and even harder to monitor her calls and movements. He’d get someone on tapping the place during his next check in.

Kaia’s tailored jeans and white button up were gone—now replaced with a pair of heather grey, tapered sweats with a matching top. The slope of her shoulder peeked out from one side. The ropes of braids were piled atop her head.

“Why is that?” he asked as his eyes trailed her to what seemed like her favorite spot on the massive sectional in the room.

Splayed open on the table was a book and a scattering of pens and small flags. Kaia folded her legs beneath her and gathered the book into her hand while balancing a glass of white wine in the other.

“Because they require another person to clean up. I don’t like extra people, remember?”

She gave a small slip of smile and nodded for him to take a seat. Kevin shrugged the heavy leather jacket from his shoulders and draped it on the arm of the sofa. He leaned deeply into the cushions and braced his arms across the back.

“I hear that. So, let me give you a quick rundown of what I understand, cool?”

“Go ahead.”

Kevin cocked his head to get a better angle of her.

“You like things clean, neat, and quiet. You don’t tolerate messiness in your personal life or your business dealings.”

Kaia took a sip of wine, balanced the book on her thigh, then tugged her ear.

“Correct. What else do you _think_ you know?” she joked.

Kevin gave a deep chuckle and flicked his tongue across his lips.

“You also don’t rock with disrespect. That’s the only time you come out of character. It takes a lot, but you got a dark side.”

He shifted until he was fully facing her.

“When the bomb blows, though?”

He let out a whistle.

“But more than anything? I think you’re careful and contained. You want in and out with no collateral damage.”

Kaia took another draw of wine and placed the glass back onto its coaster.

“Fair?”

“Indeed. You forgot one very important thing in my assessment, Mr. James.”

Kevin gave a quick raise of his eyebrows. “What’s up?”

“I am very much what you’ve suggested, but I am also a very dangerous woman to cross.”

She leaned forward and her eyes went dark.

“If I get an inkling you are playing me in the slightest, I will not hesitate to kill you.”

Kevin didn’t hesitate in believing her.

“You threaten your people often?”

“Never. Once is usually enough. Now let me tell you what I know about you.”

“Know or think you know?”

“Touché.”

***

Kaia rolled her eyes from Kevin’s head to his feet. She gave him credit for not flinching, looking away, or looking annoyed. He let her eyes linger where she wanted and didn’t seem bothered in the least.

“You’ve been aching to get out of a rut. Chicago is all you’ve known so it feels like the entire city is sitting on your back. The good, the bad, and the ugly. You’ve seen poverty and moved in the orbit of luxury, but you don’t think you fit in either world. How am I doing?”

“You may be hittin’ on something.”

Kaia laughed genuinely. She didn’t need his approval. She knew she was touching a nerve. A lifetime in and around criminals and shady dealings made her keenly aware of people. Not finding chinks in their armor or tracking changes in their behavior could be deadly. She may not have wanted to follow in her father’s footsteps, but his shadow was hard to leave even from beyond the grave. There had been too many moving parts for her to safely make her way out of the life she’d been born into. Kaia was trying, though.

She could see the way Kevin tugged his bottom lip between his teeth when he was thinking and the way he licked his lips when he was measuring his words. Both definitely sexy and had the circumstances been different she may have had a hard time separating desire from anxiousness.

“I think you ended up where you are because it’s the best of both worlds. Not the bottom. Not the top. It calls out to your protective nature. In another life you may have been a cop.”

She let the weight of her words linger between them, watched his mouth for his tells. Neither appeared so she moved on.

“I don’t think you’d hesitate to pull the trigger if need be, but like me it’s a last resort. But I don’t think in the slightest you would hesitate to beat someone’s ass.”

Kevin’s laughter bounded out across the room. It was a beautiful sound and Kaia couldn’t help but to join in.

“You damn right!”

“So now that we understand each other let’s get to business, shall we?”

***

Anger wasn’t the right word. Kevin knew anger. He knew how it crept into your spirit and ate away at the edges until it made everything inside you rotten. He’d been there way too often. Seen enough on the streets to understand that kind of blind emotion made you dangerous. It also made you stupid. What he needed right now was for Kaia to remember who she was and to keep it together. He strode over to her, placing his body between her and the man now way too comfortable in his disrespect.

Kevin caught Kaia’s eye and held her gaze for a moment. He leaned down to whisper to her, using the move to brush his thumb against her ear lobe before cupping her shoulder.

“Don’t even worry about. I got it. You stay cool for me.”

Kevin rose to his full height and turned his attention back to the man. He swung his arm up from its resting position and fired a single shot into the thigh of the traitor before him. The man dropped with a scream, cursing Kevin and everything he loved at the same time. Kevin tucked the gun into his waistband and propped the man in a sitting position against the wall. He’d take the discipline from IAD if Voight wasn’t able to clean it up on the backend. 

“You’re soft, huh? Afraid to kill me, asshole?”

Kevin gave a soft chuckle and crouched down to eye level. He tapped the center of his prey’s forehead.

“I could put a bullet right between your eyes with the quickness. Not worth it, though.”

He nodded towards Kaia and surged forward to drag the bloodied usurper to a door in the distance.

“Now you got something to remember me by. Tell your boss be careful who he sends ‘round here. Go!”

Kevin turned his attention to Kaia. She’d perched herself on the edge of the room’s table, tossing a stack of bills from hand to hand. She regarded the weight of the money before settling it back into the pile. Her layer of control was back even if Kevin could still see that shadow of her anxiousness in her eyes.

“Why didn’t you blow every bit of his skull apart?” she asked in measured tones.

Kevin picked up hints of anger and curiosity in her voice. She didn’t drop her stare when he walked towards her and came to a rest a few feet from her makeshift throne. He took a moment to straighten his tie and readjust the suit jacket over his shoulders.

“There was no need to kill him.”

Kaia’s head tilted to one side. “Explain. I’m thoroughly interested to hear how shooting a man and letting him free to bring fury back to my doorstep is good business.”

Her smile would have made a lesser man’s blood run cold, but Kevin wasn’t a lesser man. And three months into his cover, he and Kaia had done enough exchanges and runs that he knew she trusted his judgement.

“Always shooting to kill lacks finesse. Rookie shit if you ask me. And I thought you didn’t like bodies?”

“I don’t, but sometimes they’re necessary.”

He took another moment to properly re-holster his weapon.

“Use death too much and people don’t respect it. When you operate like this? A kill means more. Save ‘em for when you need to make a real point.”

“And this wasn’t one of those times?”

“Nah. That was a punk ass bitch who spoke out of turn. What he needed was a slap on the wrist. Next time he sees me what happens? He remembers two things.”

Kevin held up two fingers and waited for Kaia to dip her head in permission to continue.

“First, he remembers I let him live. Second, he knows he owes me his life. That’s a hell of a bargaining chip.”

“I like the way you think. Get someone here to transport my money. We have an event and we shouldn’t be late. I still need to change.”

“Standard courier or something a little more close to the vest?”

Kaia eyed him long enough that internally Kevin’s heart doubled in speed. Outwardly, he kept his hands and his eyes steady.

“I trust you. Get one of your people on it. They’ll be the new go-to until I decide otherwise. The standard fee applies.”

Kevin gave a quick raise of his brows and tapped out a message to Olinsky.

_Need a money runner in 15 at the old Framington Factory. West end delivery bay. Package to Southside drop house._

Olinsky would look the part. A gruff, shifty man who kept his words to a minimum and what he did say never wavered from the topic at hand. That would give Kevin an easy hand off of not only the cash, but also a face to face to make sure he was still connected and working above board. Deep cover was dangerous—too many chances to lose yourself in the money, power, and lawlessness that often to came along with it.

“He’ll be here in 15 and we’re out. Cool?”

***

From the top of the stairs Kaia had the perfect view. At the bank of floor to ceiling windows below her, Kevin was surveying the city. The dark fabric of his tux jacket stretched across his broad shoulders and nipped in at his tapered waist. If he was anything, he was solid in both body and word. She’d had her reservations, but he was proving himself a valuable asset even if she knew when all was said and done, she’d have to cut him loose, sacrifice his freedom, or watch his blood spill.

But in the moment? She was enjoying the view. His attention shifted from the window to the phone in his breast pocket. The new angle allowed her see his profile. Thick beard, full lips, a strongly set jaw. Kaia took a breath and took the first stair with confidence. Kevin may be something to look at, but she was the real showstopper. She knew it and by the tiny raise of his eyebrows when she hit the bottom step, he knew it too. She swept the tail of the black dress behind her and shook her arm to bring the thin bands of diamonds to the bend of her wrist.

He moved to the staircase and extended his hand towards her. She took it. It was rough in a way that told her Kevin did what he had to no matter what was thrown his way. He cleaned up nice, but she saw what was beneath the surface. A fighter. Someone trying make a way in the darkness when the path behind him was familiar. That took power and it took strength. Kaia respected both of them.

“You clean up nice, boss.”

Kaia smiled. He smelled heavenly and up close the tux made him look like her perfect compliment. Tall, perfectly tailored, and devilishly handsome.

“I can say the same is true for you. However, we need to get one thing clear before we go.”

She took a second to study his hand in hers then dropped it.

“While I appreciate your attempt to calm me earlier? Do not touch me without my permission again. Is that understood?”

“I can’t promise that,” he answered frankly. “I’m guarding you and if that requires touching you then that’s gonna happen.”

He took a step forward and Kaia stood firm.

“That was a little too familiar, Mr. James.”

“Kevin. And I know it was. It brought you back, didn’t it? I’d do it again.”

Kaia heard what he didn’t say. He wanted to do it again. She knew the danger in that. Get too close and you cease to see everything else around you. In her business she couldn’t afford blind spots. It would be too easy to get lost in Kevin, to let him stand in front of her and take the brunt of the world for a while. To feel the solidness of his body skin to skin until those rough palms melted into her. Kaia didn’t flirt with danger when she knew where it would lead.

“I won’t repeat myself, _Kevin_. Do we have an understanding?”

“Nah, we don’t,” he growled. “We don’t want to be late.”

He made his way to the door and waited for Kaia to follow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Listening: Collide by Tiana Major9 and EARTHGANG, Til the Cops Come Knockin’ by Maxwell, Say Yes by Floetry, and No One Will by Cody Chestnutt

Funny thing about danger. Sometimes it came in the prettiest of packages. Sometimes it looked like everything you ever wanted. Sometimes it looked like something beautiful on the other side of barbed wire. That was Kaia and in that very moment she was the only thing Kevin wanted or needed. It was hard to reconcile. What sense did it make to lust after a woman you couldn’t have? One that existed in a world opposite yours? One who you were going to lock away to save lives and a city that was sometimes on the verge of drowning?

Kevin stole glances at Kaia as he drove them into the city’s center. She’d spent the entirety of the drive staring out the window so long that he knew the muscles in her neck had to be aching. But that angle gave him the perfect view of her neck and the side pout of her lips. She hadn’t said a word since they left her home. The sleek Maserati was silent. The purr of the engine as Kevin maneuvered the city wasn’t enough to fill the void.

“Now, I may be speaking out of turn, but you aren’t speaking to me?”

Kaia finally broke her gaze away from the city. The lights caught the diamonds in her ears and sent a glow across her cheekbones.

“I don’t really have much to say. I’m not giving you that much weight at the present moment. I have much bigger things on my mind.”

“Anything I need to be concerned about?”

The last threat assessment Halstead had run hadn’t revealed any unknown or new threats. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, just her regular criminal dealings. What Kevin knew, something that made his stomach churn, was that sooner than he liked he was going have to cuff her and march her into an interrogation room. She’d been too efficient in her dealings, too trusting of his place in her life, and the net was just about to close in on her.

Kaia let out a small sigh. “No. If something arises you will be the first to know.”

Kevin grunted his acknowledgement. His stomach was still knotted. His problem, more times than he cared to admit, was that once something was settled into his mind he was hard pressed not to say it or act on it.

“Aight. I need to get this out,” he started. “I was wrong back at the warehouse earlier and at your place. But I need you to understand something.”

Kaia directed her attention from the jeweled clutch in her hands and brought her eyes to his. Kevin reached across the silence of the car and ran a thumb across her cheek.

“I will do what I need to when it comes to making sure you’re good. Touching you, gripping you up, moving you where I need you. Understood? That’s not disrespect. That’s very much necessary.”

Kevin knew Kaia was far too intelligent to miss what he was saying and what he meant beneath that. He’d be lying to himself if he hadn’t thought about all those things and more each night when she made her way up the stairs and away from him. He’d laid awake nights trying to settle his heart and his loins and come to grips with why it seemed Kaia wasn’t his normal suspect. He tried to chalk it up to proximity, but he knew that was a lie.

“I understand,” she said and gripped his wrist.

She held her fingers against his skin for a time before moving his hand from her face.

Kevin felt the knot in his belly ease.

“You have the fob I gave you?”

Kaia unlatched her purse and held up the tiny black object that looked like a keycard.

“Good. Keep it on you at all times. We get separated and I’ll use its signal to find you. Stay in one place and stay out of sight.”

***

“Andrew,” Kaia said coolly and gave the man beaming before her a slight side hug.

Kevin knew thinly veiled disgust when he saw it. He tried to push down jealousy at the thought this man may be an ex-lover of Kaia’s.

Andrew gripped her and pulled her into a bear hug. She let out a whoosh of startled air and braced her hands against his chest. Kevin stopped a growl short in his throat and pried a hand between their bodies. He moved Kaia slightly behind him and squared his shoulders.

“Too close,” he hissed while staring hard enough to wipe the smile from Andrew’s face.

Kaia took a step forward and placed a warm hand on Kevin’s bicep.

“Thank you, Mr. James.”

She turned a wary eye back to Andrew. “I’d like to introduce you to my brother, Andrew Dorchester. Andrew, meet Christopher James.”

“A new bodyguard or a new lover?”

Kaia snagged a glass of champagne from a passing tray and took a gulp. “Neither is your business, frankly.”

Kevin held back his smile and replaced it with a scowl. He moved shoulder to shoulder with Kaia.

“It’s nice to meet you, but Imma need to ask you to keep a little distance from her.”

“Ah! Bodyguard it is! Sad thing what happened to the last one,” he sneered as he trained his eyes on Kevin. “Brains splattered over my poor baby sister’s face.”

Kevin wanted to beat his ass when he heard the faintest whimper come from Kaia. He knew from her file that she and her last guard had been trapped in a shootout at a cash exchange gone bad. Outnumbered and outgunned, the man had gotten Kaia nearly to the exit when a bullet found its mark. She’d been lucky to escape with her life.

“I’m more than adept at taking care of Ms. Alexander. So, I’ll say this again. Give her space.”

Kevin placed a hand on the small of Kaia’s back and moved her towards her assigned table. He took a spot directly behind her against the wall, sweeping his eyes over the room and grunting when Andrew took his designated seat beside her.

“Fucking asshole,” Kevin spat.

Andrew’s name had rung a bell. Kevin couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but he knew there was a reason he couldn’t let the thought go. He shot off a quick text to Halstead.

I need a jacket on an Andrew Dorchester. Down to this bastard’s high school detentions.

A few moments later, the phone vibrated in his palm.

Meet tomorrow. Shafer’s Diner. 9am.

***

“Glad to see you back in the saddle, lil’ sis.”

“Kaia. And I’ve been right here. If you looked beyond your own nose for once you would realize that.”

The clatter of utensils against china and the murmur of the others around them took the edge off the siblings’ words. To the untrained eye it looked like a regular dinner chat.

“Your revenue is good.”

“It always is. What was this invitation really about?”

Andrew took a chug of red wine and slid another chunk of steak into his mouth.

“You know the difference between us? You got raised out there in the sticks thinking you were better than the rest of us. I know what the streets need.”

Kaia had heard this argument too many times to count. She took a measured sip of wine and turned her attention fully to her brother.

“We’ve had this conversation far too often, Andrew. We are adults now and unless there is something new to add to this narrative can we please get to why I am here?”

Andrew moved his finger towards Kaia’s face, but withdrew at the feral noise coming from behind them. Kevin, with a sheen of rage on his face, was pushing from the wall and making his way over. He leaned down to whisper in Kaia’s ear.

“You good?”

Kaia gave him a curt nod. “Yes. Andrew just tends to get a little animated. Isn’t that right?”

Kaia watched him grind out his answer.

“Yes. It’s just been so long since we’ve chatted.”

With a smile from Kaia, Kevin retreated and took his place on the wall again.

“See you have a junkyard dog this time. Maybe he’ll actually be good at his job.”

“For as often as you bring up Charles’ death, perhaps I should be concerned that bullet was intended for me.”

“Why would I wish death upon the biggest breadwinner I have? We’re blood, remember?”

“Barely. Let me be very clear, brother,” she spat out the word. “I no longer want to be involved in any of this. You were quite right there are differences between us. I don’t need the false power or the bloodshed that you were so anxious to take from our father’s dead hands.”

“That life kept you in the finest of everything, didn’t it? Never heard you complaining about all those private schools and summer trips.”

“I was a child!” Kaia hissed. “He took me from my mother. And yours certainly didn’t want Marcus’ bastard anywhere near any of you.”

She pushed her half-eaten dinner away and folded her hands in front of her. Kaia dropped her eyes and brought them back to Andrew after a moment.

“What do you want? This is the last of it. I’m out.”

“We’ll discuss that later. I’m sure the Chicago PD would be interested in just how much blood money has found its way through your hands.”

“That was by force. A shiftless ass daddy and a trifling ass brother who strapped their burdens to my back to spread out the heat. This was never my choice.”

“There’s the Marcus blood. You really should let that out more often!”

He drained the remainder of his wine.

“While I appreciate your passion, Kaia? I have no care for it. There’s someone standing in the way of my expansion into the West Side. I need you to neutralize him.”

“You want me to kill someone? Let me make sure I am hearing you correctly.”

“You take that as you will and you do what you have to. I’ll forward the details. Don’t let me down, sis.”

Kaia was done. She tossed the heavy linen napkin on the table and strode towards the exit. Kevin caught her elbow at the door.

“Do I need to knock his teeth down his goddamn throat?”

Kaia gave a shake of her head. “Just let me get a little bit of air in the ladies’ room. I’ll be okay.”

Kevin gave her elbow a quick squeeze and let her go.

***

Kevin didn’t have time to pay attention to the sight of Burgess’ name on his screen. He declined the call and went back to the tracking app on his phone. The insistent blip of Kaia’s location was getting closer, but until Kevin could wrap his arms around her and get her away from the shattering glass, screams, and chaos nothing would be okay. No matter what his end goal may be, he was at the core of all of this charged with making sure Kaia was safe and sound.

When the first shot rang out in the ballroom, Kevin had made a beeline for the ladies’ room. He’d been lingering at the end of the hallway to give her the illusion of space, but in the rush of women and men streaming towards every available exit he’d lost her. Pushing his way through bodies, he didn’t care where they landed. He needed to find one. A singular woman in a black dress and diamonds who was likely reliving the splatter of blood across her face. Kevin knew the fear that came with trauma, how it made your body want to shut down. He checked the phone one last time. A few more feet and he’d have Kaia back in his line of sight.

Unlike the last time, Voight’s face flashed across the screen and Kevin connected the call to the bud secured in his ear.

“We got shots fired at your location.”

“Affirmative. I gotta get eyes on Kaia!”

“You let us know and we’re coming in hot.”

The sight of a stack of diamond bangles caught Kevin’s attention and put a stop to his answer.

“I got her,” he confirmed and ended the call.

From across the short hallway, Kevin gestured until Kaia saw him. He motioned for her to stay low. He counted the seconds between shots and tried to calculate how far away the shooters were. When the shots echoed and spaced at least five seconds apart he knew the automatic fire was over. He rose from his space and used his body to bridge the hallway while Kaia crossed to his side. Kevin banded her to his body and took cover as he found it.

“You hold onto me and don’t let go. Do you hear me?” he called next to her ear.

She nodded and buried her face in his shoulder.

Kevin moved as quickly as he could away from the crowds towards the double doors of the kitchen entrance. The space was emptied and quiet. Kevin moved them deeper into the massive room until he say the overhead exit light mounted over the service delivery door. He placed Kaia to her feet and passed his hands over her body searching for wounds.

“Are you hit anywhere? Are you hurt?”

Kaia shook her head, looking up at him with eyes wide with fear. She wasn’t cut out for this life no matter the tough front she put up. Kevin finished the sweep of her body—satisfied she wasn’t injured. He tugged at her ear lobe.

“You’re good. You’re good,” he repeated, trying to convince himself.

Kaia melted into his hand and what little tie to common sense Kevin had was lost. He moved his free hand to cup the other side of her face, dipped his head towards her, and kissed her with everything in his heart. What he knew was that she tasted like the sweetest thing he’d even known and he’d be hard pressed not taste her again.

***

Kaia heard the weight of Kevin taking the stairs. She’d waited three months to hear the tiny creak of the middle step shifting under his feet. All it took was a shootout to make it happen. She knew Kevin to be respectful and professional no matter their underlying banter and flirtation. Tonight had changed that. When she looked up from removing her bracelets and placing them onto their indigo velvet trays, he was standing in the doorway looking at her in the mirror. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth then licked it.

He’d relieved himself of the tux jacket and tie—his throat and chest now visible and inviting in the dim light of her room. He looked nervous and it was the first time Kaia could remember seeing that particular emotion on his face.

“About earlier…”

“You touched me tonight.”

“I did. Never promised I wouldn’t.”

Kaia picked up the edge to his voice. It wasn’t anger. It was longing. Kaia knew it well. Kevin lowered his eyes and she studied him for a moment before moving to pluck the diamonds from her ears. 

“And you kissed me.”

Kevin cleared his throat and gave a slow nod of his head.

“I did. Kaia…”

“I want you to do it again.”

When he brought his eyes back to hers it was as if he’d captured fire in their depths. He pushed from his position in the doorway and came to a halt directly behind her. Kevin lingered a moment before bending to press the softness of his lips on her bare shoulder. He made a trail of kisses across her neck to the other shoulder then breathed in her scent with a moan. Kaia wanted to float away, but she held herself steady despite her shallow breathing.

She shifted unconsciously when Kevin placed a palm flat against her back and slid the zipper of the dress down to the meeting of her body and the plush stool.

“No going back from this,” he rumbled next to her ear. “You don’t owe me anything if that’s what’s up, baby girl.”

Kaia used the small space between her body and the vanity to push back from the jewels before her and turned to face him. He gave her room and pulled her to her feet, the blackness of her dress sliding and settling at her hips. Kaia gripped Kevin’s chin and brought him to eye level.

“I know exactly what I’m asking for,” she said softly and reached to unzip the rest of the dress.

Kevin seemed lost, but his own hands made their way to undo the remainder of his shirt’s buttons, remove it, and toss it to the floor next to Kaia’s now discarded dress. He made short work of his pants, leaving them both near nude for the smallest span of time before the last barriers between then fluttered to the floor with the rest of the evening’s clothes.

In the heat of passion, the way bodies magnetize and meld are foreign. How limbs become intertwined and connections made were of no matter. The goal was singular. Get closer. Kaia let Kevin angle her lips where her wanted them, let him blossom them open with this tongue and steal her breath away. She didn’t care when the bottles of perfumes and creams on her vanity rattled with the weight of Kevin settling himself onto the stool. All Kaia cared about was the grip of Kevin’s fingers on her waist digging into her skin and pulling her into the vee of his legs, how his lips and teeth created a trail of fire across her skin before he stood again and secured her to his body with one heavy arm and a hand at her throat.

“This is what you want, Kai?” he asked with his fingers curling against her pulse. “Huh?”

Kaia nodded—knowing before her head even stopped moving that wasn’t enough.

“Nah,” he lifted her higher and teased at her entrance. “I gotta hear you say it.”

She let out a breathy yes with the air she siphoned between his grip. Kevin sank Kaia onto him and their combined moan sent a shiver through her. She buried her face in Kevin’s shoulder when he released his hold on her neck to sink them back onto the vanity stool. She bit into his flesh to quiet herself. Kaia was afraid to let it out. He felt too good, too right, for her to feel safe in letting go. But Kevin seemed to know this and stroked into her tenderly until she was gasping for both air and words.

“There’s my girl,” Kevin grunted into her ear. “Let me hear you, sweetheart.”

He said it as if Kaia had a choice. In the moment, whatever Kevin asked of her was a given. The way he was banding her against his skin and moving up and into her was sinful and if the tremors beginning in her thighs were any indication, he would get his wish more than once and louder than expected. Maybe she’d play coy later, pushing his limits to see just much pleasure he could pull for her body, but for now? Kaia held on and let every bit of her voice free until Kevin’s bass joined hers and the heave of their chests stilled.

Later, Kaia curled deeper against Kevin’s chest, pressing her forehead near his heart. In his sleep, he caged her tighter in his arms and drew her leg over his hip just to get closer. She had never felt safer, more protected in her life. Even if it was only for as long as she could keep her illusions alive, Kaia wanted Kevin in her life—the consequences be damned.

***

Kevin plopped down at the diner counter.

“I shouldn’t be here. Kaia shouldn’t be alone out there in the car.”

“I got Ruzek watching from across the street. Anything pops off he’s a concerned citizen coming to her aid,” Halstead whispered. “So, we ran Andrew and he’s exactly who he says he is. It took a little digging, but he really is her brother. Half, that is.”

Kevin cursed under his breath.

“Same dad, different mothers?” he asked.

“Bingo! Kaia’s mom ran in the same circles as Marcus Alexander. Thing is, once she found she was having a kid she slipped out of the city.”

“Marcus Alexander who ran everything from numbers to prostitutes until he lucked up into some real business?”

“The one and only. He ran most of the laundering on the South Side until he passed a few years ago. Ruthless as the day is long. Andrew took over when he died. Kaia must have come in under his wing.”

“If her mom ghosted then how did Kaia end up helping run his empire?”

“Marcus took her from her mom when she was about ten. Kept her profile low so no one used her as a pawn. Plus, he already had Andrew coming up through the ranks.”

“Makes sense why there’s no jacket on her. Why her name doesn’t ring bells.”

“Exactly. From what I gather she’s not really interested in the family business, but Andrew’s not letting her out.”

“’Cause he has dirt on her. He’s blackmailing his own sister! What’s he holding?”

“No idea. I’ll do some more digging, but keep an eye on him. He’d cut her down in a heartbeat.”

Kaia’s apprehension at dinner made sense now. She knew there was a target on her back. And now Kevin felt guilt closing in on him. Kaia had committed crimes, but it seemed it wasn’t of her own volition. The law didn’t care about that, though. Crime was crime. The best she could hope for was leniency if she turned on her brother.

“Alright. Let me know it anything comes across the wire about Andrew.”

He grabbed the bag of food and made his way towards the door.

“Hey Kev? She’s prettier in person,” Halstead called out with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

“I know,” Kevin shot back with a wink.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Listening: Other Side of the Game by Erykah Badu and End of the World by Redline Graffiti

Somewhere in the fog of his brain Kevin heard the telltale vibration of his phone on the nightstand. He shifted slightly beneath the duvet slung across his naked body with a muffled groan. He and Kaia had carved out a warm spot and he damn sure wasn’t willing to move, but the second series of vibrations didn’t give him a choice. Kevin slid the arm from behind his head and felt around in the dark until his fingers closed around it. He squinted into the inky black of the room, trying to focus on the letters on the screen until they scrambled into place. His movements, as small as they may be, caused Kaia to hum in her sleep and wrap tighter around his torso. Kevin pressed his lips softly to her forehead and wiggled his way from her grip. He felt instantly colder. Sliding into his discarded boxers with one hand, Kevin pulled the door behind him and crept down the stairs.

Outside, Chicago was caught between sleep and waking. The faintest hints of morning were starting to show in the distance beyond the home’s windows and the mournful rise and fall of sirens continued their daily alarm. Kevin answered the call on the third series of vibrations while moving to notch up the heat. If the dusting of snow from his vantage point was any indication, the day was going to be frigid.

“What’s up, boss?”

“What’s rule number one for being under?” Voight gritted out.

_Shit. What day was it?_

“Stay connected.”

“It’s been a week, Atwater. You ask for a case and this is what you pull?”

Kevin had spent the days and nights since the gala somehow connected to Kaia’s body and spirit. They’d made love too many times to count and Kevin was convinced the sound of her shattering at her peak was his favorite in the world. But for as much as he craved Kaia’s body, he craved _her_. She was soft and sharp all at the same time. Wickedly smart and crafty just as much as her heart was big. He’d fallen too far and too fast. Kevin drove a fist into his thigh in frustration.

“That’s my fault. I just got caught up.”

“In her?”

Kevin’s grip on the phone tightened and he balanced on the arm of the sofa. He let the cool, hardwood floors sink into his feet to ground him for a moment.

“Nah. Just trying to dig up some intel. Forgot to check in is all.”

There was a weighted silence Kevin knew well. Voight trying to rein in his temper. Him holding his jaw tightly and staring out into the distance.

“Bullshit. What did I tell the entire goddamn unit about lying to me?”

Kevin repeated what was expected. “Tell you the truth so you can lie for us.”

He felt like some kind of punk ass kid, but he deserved the reprimand and the reminder. Kevin couldn’t think of a time he’d been so sloppy. He was letting lust guide his actions and that was a slope slippery with blood.

“I’m texting and calling you and nothing! You and your target get damn near killed then you ghost? I ought to pull your ass right now.”

Kevin felt the muscles in his jaw clench. He’d be damned if he let this case slip through his fingers. How he’d manage that without losing Kaia was beyond his grasp at the moment, however. He was going to try to have the best of both worlds with as little collateral damage as possible.

“I got it. Just give me a little more time. I’m thinking there’s a new target.”

“The target is Kaia Alexander. Wrap it up and bring her in. That’s an order, Kev.”

“I’m saying I don’t think she’s the big catch. I just need more time. Let me chase it some more.”

That silence again.

“You have to the end of the week. Three days. Is that understood?”

“Understood. I’ll bring her in personally. Let me at least have that.”

Kevin ended the call and rose from his perch on the sofa. He slung his arms above his head and paced the room. He needed to be rational and figure out the best way to unravel the mess he’d walked into without a second thought.

***

Kaia tested the water against the back of her hand then pulled the diverter valve until the spray of the shower filled the bathroom. She took a seat on the closed lid of the toilet and buried her head in her palms. She took a few measured breaths to center herself then slipped her phone from the sink’s ledge. Kaia contemplated the weight of it, admired the sleek rose gold case and the bright white of her lock screen. A singular phrase stared back at her. Tabula Rasa. A blank slate was all Kaia truly wanted.

She’d spent the first years of her life under the very loving, but overly protective wings of her mother—never quite knowing why it felt like she was being both cherished and drowned at the same time. Kaia had learned not to question why they never stayed in one place more than a year or why her mother worked her fingers to the quick to keep Kaia in private schools and programs so she was never really alone. What she knew more than anything, even as her roots were upturned often, was that she was the light in her mother’s life. That was enough to anchor her. Until that day.

Kaia followed the swirls in the marble bath tiles over and over until she brought her heartbeat back to steady. That day has been normal. She’d gone to school, stayed over for her academic challenge program, then was dropped off by the team’s coach. She should have known when the top lock was undone something wasn’t right. Still, she’d entered to find a man who shared her eyes sitting at the kitchen table. He’d smiled widely and spoke like he knew her. Kaia wanted to run, knowing strangers meant danger, but he looked so much like her that she needed and wanted to know exactly who he was. She stayed rooted in place until her mother arrived. There’d been hushed voices, an iron clad grip on her mother’s arms while the man talked too closely to her face, and then her mother’s shaky order for Kaia to pack.

Kaia had cried too many nights to count. No matter the luxury around her or the trappings of a new life in the city, she knew that was not where she belonged. But her mother had let the man she now knew was her father take her. Eventually, Kaia had learned, the heart quiets until at best what hurts it is nothing more than a hum that can be ignored.

Kaia swiped the screen on the phone until it unlocked and opened her contact list. She scrolled until X appeared and she initiated a call. The phone trilled three times before the line connected.

“Kaia.”

“Xavier. I’m ready to end this.”

She kept the pitch of her voice low enough to be masked by the sound of the water. She needed to make this quick. Kaia was more than aware of the likelihood Kevin would slip into the bathroom hoping to join her beneath the spray.

“Why now? We’ve been building this for a year.”

“Because I have a problem. CPD is investigating me.”

Kaia tried to keep the shaking out her voice. She wasn’t angry. She was hurt. The third step had creaked as normal when Kevin made his way down to the main level and after getting her bearings in the dark, Kaia had followed. More than one night since the gala shooting, they’d ended up in the kitchen when one of them rose from the bed and left the warmth of the other behind. She and Kevin had sat at the marble island sharing fruit and drinks and chatting quietly. It was the most grounded Kaia had felt in a long time. That was what she expected tonight. Except she’d caught the tail end of Kevin’s conversation. Her knees had wobbled, but they had not buckled. Kaia stuffed her feelings back into her chest and tucked herself back into bed before he ascended the stairs again.

She’d been angry at herself for letting him slide her body across the sheets and back into his arms, but the solidness of his chest against her back was a pleasure she’d let herself enjoy for as long as she could. It had lasted a few hours before she rose and made her way to the bathroom.

“And how do you know that? It’s not on my radar.”

“How?! You’re the feds! And I know because I heard him!” she hissed. “He says they’re about to bring me in.”

“I’ll be damned if they do. Give me a name and I’ll get back with you ASAP.”

Kaia fed Xavier all the information she had and ended the call just as the door cracked open to show the face of the man Kaia couldn’t believe she’d been stupid enough to trust. He shimmied through the door bringing a cool burst of air with him before the door closed and the steam billowed again. He gave her a smile she noticed didn’t quite reach his eyes. He looked troubled and if she let herself be open she would have thought he actually felt badly for double crossing her.

Still, Kaia’s entire being ached to curl around the bulk of his chest and wait for the crush of his arms to rock her back and forth.

“You waiting for me?” he asked and leaned against the sink.

Kaia studied him for a moment. “No, I wanted to let you sleep.”

It was easy to lie. It wouldn’t be as easy to let him go. In the chaos of her life over the last year, Kevin was a port in the storm. Now Kaia felt as if she was being pushed back out to sea alone. She wasn’t prepared, but she’d survive. That she was sure of. Not Andrew. Or Kevin. No one was going to dictate what she did with her life.

“You good?”

His brow creased with concern and his arms crossed against his bare chest. The motion made it more defined and Kaia had a hard time breaking Kevin’s spell. He caught the linger of her stare and beamed at her. This time it looked like his eyes lit up.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just a little sleepy.”

“Need me to put you to bed?” he joked. “You know I got you.”

He pushed from his place against the marble sink and gathered Kaia from her seat. Kevin slipped the phone from her hand to place it somewhere behind him then tilted her chin skyward when he was done.

“Something ain’t right. Tell me,” he demanded with a kiss.

Kaia’s silence stretched between three more kisses before Kevin lifted her onto the sink’s edge and made a home between her thighs.

“Kai? Baby? What’s wrong?”

Kaia let her fingers ghost his cheeks. “What are we doing?”

“As in?”

Kaia sucked her teeth. “Please don’t play with me, Kevin. What is this?”

Kevin settled his hands on her waist and rubbed her curves hidden beneath his t-shirt. Kaia had slipped it on before following him down the stairs. It was becoming force of habit to pull his tees and sweatshirts over her body to get a whiff of his scent and warmth.

“We’re getting to know each other. Learning what could be.”

“That’s all?”

Kaia’s heart was hurting. Why she was pushing him deeper into his lies was beyond her. Maybe she needed to hear the deception so she knew that she wasn’t imagining it. Maybe it was the quickest way to cauterize her feelings—burning them at the quick so she didn’t have to feel anything for him.

“You want it to be more? ‘Cause what I know is that I’m feeling you. Can’t get enough of you actually.”

“Professional boundaries be damned, huh?”

“Crossing ‘em was a mutual decision, remember?”

There was an edge to his voice Kaia didn’t like. She put her defenses up and prepared for a fight.

“I’m not going to ask again,” Kaia said as she slid her bottom from the sink and reached around Kevin to grab a towel from the warmer. “I’ll see you when I’m done getting ready. We have business to attend to today.”

***

Kevin didn’t trust the car trailing them from three lengths back. He’d maneuvered smoothly lane to lane a few times. The heavy snow called for an SUV and he was glad to be behind the wheel of the blacked-out Jeep Wrangler instead of the Maserati he’d moved through the city most days. The car had followed carefully each time. It looked professional. An older model Honda that blended into the rest of the world. Just another commuter heading into the heart of the city, but he could tell they’d done this before. It was too patient, too calculated, and too under the radar. From the rearview mirror, Kevin could only make out the shadow of two men, caps low over their foreheads, and nothing more.

He switched lanes again and counted off six seconds before the car did the same. Taking a right onto a snowy side street, Kevin waited to see the space behind him fill as expected. He pressed the gas pedal down gradually to avoid fishtailing and picked up speed. The width of the street narrowed and Kevin took a left sharply towards an industrial row. Maybe he could lose them in the smaller streets that had yet to see a plow.

The distance between the two vehicles may have increased, but Kevin’s grip on the steering wheel tightened when he saw the blur of the Honda rounding the corner behind him and regaining traction. He shifted his glance to Kaia in the rearview mirror. She was pretending to be engrossed in her phone to avoid speaking to him. Kevin wasn’t sure what had truly happened in the bathroom that morning, but he didn’t have time to worry about it now.

“Kai? I need you to buckle up.”

She rolled her eyes up from her phone slowly.

“Now!” he barked at her.

The tiny click of the belt securing across her body gave him only the briefest sense of relief. Kevin pulled into a complex of warehouses, slipping and sliding down several rows of them until behind him he could no longer see the Honda. He brought the truck to a halt in the center of a row to use the buildings as cover. Kevin took a moment to gather his bearings before leaning around his seat to brief Kaia.

“I need you to get down as low as possible. Do you hear me?”

From the deep inhale of air, Kevin had no doubt about her frustration.

“Look, I know you’re pissed…”

Kevin’s words died at the sight of a black Suburban blocking the end of the row. Instinct shot his hand to his gun.

“Get down now. Do not move unless you hear my voice? Do you understand me?!”

The widening of Kaia’s eyes set Kevin’s blood on fire. He watched her shakily unbuckle herself and curl onto the floor of the Jeep. Once Kevin was sure she was as protected as she could be, he spared another glance at the SUV now blocking the row diagonally. The sight of a second truck now creeping down from the opposite end enraged him even more. Kevin lay his weapon across his lap and brought his phone to his ear.

“Ruz, I need you! Ping me and get here now.”

He’d hold out as long as he could.

In moments of crisis, Kevin felt like everything in him slowed down. His senses became heightened. The slow motion of the second truck was muffled as the snow was crushed beneath its tires. He could hear the shallow breathing of Kaia crouched behind his seat. He could hear the rush of blood in his ears and feel the weight in the center of his chest. The heft of the gun in his hand and how his finger itched to curl around the trigger. Kevin took stock of the situation. He was more than convinced a shootout was a lost cause. The truck only offered so much cover and he could never protect Kaia from a hail of bullets out in the open. The Jeep didn’t have the weight to ram the vehicle behind them without getting stuck or to push the one now getting closer. And even if the Jeep was heavy enough, getting traction in the snow would be a bitch.

But whatever Kevin was going to do he need to do it quickly. He gauged the corrugated metal doors of the dilapidated warehouse diagonally to his left. Calculated the distance between the two buffers ahead and behind him. Kevin put the Jeep into reverse then gunned it towards the more rusted of the two sliding doors. The metal bowed then gave way enough for him to plow into the open space behind it. The impact splintered the windshield, the Jeep skidding across the concrete floor until it came to a rest against a center support.

Kevin didn’t try to keep the panic out of his voice. He scrubbed a hand over his beard then rubbed his forehead. It ached and he could feel the blood on his palm.

“Kaia?” he muttered, trying extricate himself from the driver’s seat.

“We gotta move,” he growled as he rounded the vehicle and dragged a shaken Kaia from the backseat.

Kevin knew their window of escape was slim. There were no shouts, no boots pounding the dusty concrete floor, no gunshots. Whoever this was knew how to move in silence and if he wasn’t careful he and Kaia would be set upon with no warning. Kevin let his eyes adjust to the dim light in the warehouse. He scanned until he saw an exit opposite their position. They could make it partially there by ducking behind abandoned shipping containers, but the last of it was wide open—made them easy pickings. He dragged Kaia behind him as he snaked them behind the containers. They just needed to hang on a little while longer. Kevin couldn’t tell if the sirens breaking outside were for the city or him. Until he heard the call of officers, he wouldn’t believe it was the latter. For now, they needed to make it to that door.

But his body wouldn’t cooperate. Blackness at the edges of his vision brought him to the floor, dust and blood mixing on his hands as he tried to rise. He didn’t have time for this. Kaia didn’t have time for this.

“You gotta run. Get out the door and don’t stop.”

He pressed his phone into Kaia’s hand. “Last call…he’ll help.”

He pushed against her thigh to set her in motion. He watched her falter. Watched the tears well in her eyes.

“Please…go.”

Kaia stood a beat then raced towards the door as a cadre of men in black reached the crumpled Jeep. Kevin listened for the clatter of the metal door re-latching before he let the darkness take him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Listening: Stuck on You by Giveon, Don’t Judge Me by Janelle Monae, and Waves by Normani feat 6LACK

Kevin paused at the caged door leading up to the unit. His head was a dull throb, pulsing in time with his anger and self-loathing. It reminded him of his failures. He’d let himself forget the foundation of his position. He’d gotten involved with a woman who was off limits in more ways than one. He’d gotten his heart, mind, and body fully engulfed in her and that lapse in judgement was likely to cost him everything.

When he’d come to, with Ruzek and Burgess shouting above him, he’d fought against the weight of their collective bodies in an attempt to find Kaia. The knowledge she was missing sent Kevin heaving to his knees until he could right the world again. He’d been silent while the ER doctor had stitched the gaping cut across his forehead and pantomimed his way through a quick debriefing. When Ruzek had driven them through the city and towards the 21st Kevin hadn’t wanted to speak let alone disclose just how reckless he’d been. All that mattered was that Kaia was in the wind and for all he knew she was suffering in the grips of the men behind the tinted windows of those trucks. Kevin tried to push down the roil of his stomach and made a beeline through the door, up the stairs, and directly to the office of the man he hoped could get him out of this mess.

Two steps into Voight’s office Kevin stopped cold. The heady scent of a perfume he knew from the hair and skin of the woman he’d fallen for was unmistakable. Instinct propelled him further into the room and before he could stop himself, she was in his arms and he was searching her for injuries. He took stock of her skin, looking for any mark or scratch. He watched her breathing, waiting to see if there was a hitch in how she drew in air. He checked for the pall of pain across her face. He saw none of that and let himself draw in a steady breath. The gravelly throat clearing of Voight brought him back to the world, but Kevin didn’t want to let go of Kaia.

“How?”

“Have a seat, Atwater.”

Kevin took a single step back and swept his eyes over Kaia’s face again. She looked unharmed, infinitely angry and sad, but in one piece. Her fingers pressed gently against his bandaged forehead. He could pick up the smallest of tremors in her hand.

“I’m good,” he whispered and watched her nod in acknowledgement. The moment gone; the anger filtered back into her eyes.

That spark of tenderness would have to be enough for now. The man who’d been seated next to Kaia rose and extended his hand.

“Agent Xavier Douglas. FBI.”

Kevin pushed his protective instincts down and gave a handshake.

“I want to thank you for protecting Ms. Alexander. We had a hell of a time getting her from your grip.”

Kevin gave a sneer. “Say what?”

“You gave us a hell of a chase. Plowing through the warehouse was most definitely not expected.”

Kevin swept his eyes to Voight who shrugged and motioned for the agent to continue.

“I’m sure this is outta left field. I’ll cut to the chase.”

He took a seat next to Kaia again and Kevin wanted to toss him across the room.

“Ms. Alexander has been under the eyes of the FBI for over a year. She’s been working on bringing in Andrew in exchange for immunity.”

Kevin’s eyes widened and he tried to connect with Kaia. She refused to meet his gaze. The stiff positioning of her body told Kevin he’d continue to fail so he gave up.

“You can imagine my surprise when I got a call from her this morning letting me know her new _bodyguard_ ,” Agent Douglas said with sarcasm that was too thick to ignore. “was really CPD trying to bring her down.”

Kevin’s heart broke at the small movement of Kaia wiping her eyes on the edge of the oversized gray cardigan draped over her frame. The watchful eyes of the others in the room rooted him in place so whatever comfort he wanted to offer was only a wish. The throb in his head intensified and he shook off the slight blur in his vision.

“We’ve been working this angle hard and we can’t have you swooping in and ruining it.”

“What the hell does that have to do with kidnapping her?!”

“Everything. You think she could just walk into a branch office and sip a cup of coffee while she waits? You’re watching her. Andrew’s watching her. This woman is a prize and if that takes a few busted up vehicles and drama then so be it. I didn’t want the stench of _cop_ on her so we played it dirty.”

“You’re fucking lucky she’s not hurt.”

“Kev,” Voight censored. 

“Nah. I can’t let that slide. What was the plan had I started firing on you?”

The condescending chuckle from Agent Douglas pissed Kevin off.

“That was never going to happen. You’re a good cop, Atwater. Your jacket proves that. I took a chance you wouldn’t go cowboy.”

Voight rapped his knuckles on the desk. “We’re gonna be partnering with the FBI on this one, Kev. Let ‘em run their case out and see where it lands. All goes to plan Ms. Alexander’s deal stays in place.”

That was some comfort to Kevin. It took the burden of writing paper on Kaia off his shoulders. He couldn’t stomach that. Not now.

“The meet with Andrew is set for this afternoon. For all he knows, the hit he wanted is done. We’ll get Ms. Alexander wired up, get the faux crime scene photos, and spring the trap. If he’s his usual chatty self we’ll add even more to his RICO charges,” Agent Douglas offered.

“Can I have a moment with Kaia?”

Kevin extended his hand towards her when there was no objection raised in the room. She took a long glance at it, but didn’t accept. She rose on her own and followed Kevin out of the office and into the belly of the 21st.

***  
Kaia wretched her arm away from Kevin’s grasp. She moved from him in anger, coming to a stop at the cage in the corner of the room. Above the scarred bench inside hung a pair of handcuffs. She could imagine someone inside, the rattling metal of the cuffs against their wrists, trying to escape from the trap. It was what she was feeling with Kevin, with Xavier, with Andrew. Hell, with the goddamn ghost of her father. They all had her trapped in some way or another. It was like she never really had a choice.

Kaia let her hands clench and unclench. She could still feel the burn of Kevin’s touch on her skin. God, how she wanted to just forget everything and bury herself against his body and let him lie to her about how everything would be okay. Kaia need the illusion, but it was better to rip off the blinders and see the world for what it really was. It was cruel and it was cold. Why she let herself believe Kevin was any different was beyond her.

“Kai…”

“No!” she hissed at him. “I don’t want to hear another lie, Officer Atwater.”

She watched him recoil at the venom in her words. Kaia wanted him to feel the anger and hurt that was swirling through her veins. It was making her dizzy. It filled every bit of her and made it hard to see straight. She couldn’t push away the feel of his body or the rumble of his voice in the dark. Kaia couldn’t get past how stupid she had been pouring her heart out to a man who was using her as a stepping stone.

“Do you make it a habit to fuck your targets? Huh? Get them to trust you then take what you want?”

He made a move towards her and Kaia sidestepped him. The hint of his cologne blossomed between them as she moved.

“You need to listen to me.”

“What do you do down here?” she questioned as she moved closer to the cage.

“Get people to talk.”

“By any means necessary?”

She watched him shrug.

“Sometimes.”

Kaia let a sad smile float across her lips. “I guess you just changed locations this time. You most certainly got me to talk. Excellent job.”

“It was never my intent to get this close to you. It just happened.”

“Intentions and actions are two different things.”

“You think I could have just told you I was a cop? It doesn’t work that way, Kai!”

“You’re damn right you could have! When you kissed me or any of those nights we were together. You chose not to!”

This time Kevin caught her wrist and pulled her into his orbit.

“You think I wanted to lose you?” He gripped her chin and forced her to meet his eyes. “Huh? You think I found someone like you just toss you away? I was trying to figure it out.”

Kaia wanted to believe him. She truly did.

“You…”

“How did it feel? Tell me it didn’t feel like we were falling away from the world. Like you finally had someone on your side?”

He cupped her cheek and Kaia melted into it. “It was a lie.”

“How we met was a lie. The rest was true. You know it was. Be pissed off at me. Hell, hit me! But don’t pretend.”

Kaia gave herself one more moment sinking into the feel of his palm against her face before she stepped back.

“It doesn’t matter now. Our paths are untangling.”

She ran a hand down his arm and made her way back to the fate it was now too late to stop.

***

The whip of wind as Kaia stepped out of the truck chilled Kevin even from across the street. He wanted to be doing anything besides watching her move across the sidewalk alone with the winter air lifting up the tail of her black overcoat. He should be beside her, still in character, until this was done. Damn what Voight and Douglas had to say, Kaia was his responsibility. Kevin watched her slide on a pair of oversized shades and strut confidently towards a bench near the waterfront. The pop of her red lipstick was a like a beacon.

“She’s gonna be fine,” Burgess called out beside him. “We have eyes on her from every angle.”

“I need hands on her, though.”

“I know. I really do, but you know that’s not gonna fly. You’re lucky they’re letting you anywhere near the scene.”

Kevin ran a rough hand over his face. “I’m not compromised.”

“Kev. Everyone can see it on your face. Let it play out.”

“I didn’t mean for it to happen, Burg. One thing led to another and…”

“She seems amazing. Criminal activity doesn’t always make you a bad person.”

“Yea, but it’s supposed to make you off limits. I fucked up.”

Kevin never took his eyes off Kaia, now sitting alone facing the water and waiting on her brother to appear. He listened in to the mic check and bit his lip at the honey of her voice confirming all systems were go. Barring any problems, Kaia should be in the clear in less than an hour and maybe they’d have time to talk. Maybe she would actually listen to his apology.

The slither of Andrew approaching set Kevin’s teeth on edge. Even from a distance, he could feel the fake elegance and false confidence coming off the asshole. Kevin knew his type well. Whatever little power he had amassed he used to stomp down those below him because he thought it gave him a leg up. Andrew had spent years stepping on Kaia’s neck to hold himself aloft. It was well beyond time for him to get what was coming from him.

_Lil’ sis! You can’t imagine my surprise when I saw your text. Had a change of mind?_

_Did I really have a choice?_

_Touché! What do you have for me?_

From his vantage point Kevin could only see Kaia’s movement handing over an envelope to Andrew. The man took a moment to slide the contents partially out of the covering before a smile spread across his face.

_You actually had the heart to do it? Or should I say your guard dog?_

Andrew’s head swiveled and searched the immediate area.

_Speaking of which, where is he?_

_Did I need him to meet with my brother?_

_Of course not, but it seemed he didn’t like me anywhere near you._

_I’m my own woman despite what you tend to believe. Are you satisfied?_

Andrew tapped the envelope against his thigh. Kevin watched him seem to contemplate a moment.

_I’m not. I’m still wondering how long it’s going to take you to tell me about Agent Douglas._

Kevin watched the stiffening of Kaia’s body then in slow motion Andrew jerking her from the bench and further away from his line of sight. Kevin was out of the van in an instant, Burgess and the rest of the unit on his heels, dodging vehicles and people while doing everything he could to keep his eyes on her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommended Listening: Do Right Woman, Do Right Man by Aretha Franklin, End of the World by Redline Graffiti, I’ll Love You More Than You’ll Ever Know by Donny Hathaway, To the Moon by Phora, and Calls by Jill Scott and Robert Glaspe

Andrew’s grip on her upper arm felt like a vice and unlike earlier Kaia was unable to pull herself from the grasp holding her captive. Andrew was most certainly not a physical comparison to Kevin, but fury and mania makes for the strength of ten men. Kaia dug her heels into the concrete beneath them and forced him to drag her a few feet before he stopped short and curled a heavy hand around her throat.

She tried to look beyond his shoulder to see if the bulk of Kevin was on the horizon. It wasn’t and for the first time since she’d left the district Kaia felt like things were out of her control. She’d let herself believe that sitting on the bench had been the last bit of shackle on her ankles and after she’d shown Andrew the phony photos, she’d strip the wire from her body and walk away a free woman. What she hadn’t counted on was the hand around her neck.

“How do you think you ended up on their radar?” he hissed while looking immensely proud of himself.

Kaia scratched at his wrist as he increased the pressure.

“You think I wasn’t going to throw you to the wolves when I had the chance?”

He released his grip and regained his grasp on Kaia’s arm. “Now walk!”

He dragged her down the shoreline. The path grew from manicured to rocky and before long they were sheltered in an overpass smattered with graffiti. Andrew moved until Kaia was pressed against one of the filthy concrete walls.

“How long have you been working with Douglas?”

An unexpected wave of anger and bravery swept over Kaia. If she was going to die under some abandoned pedestrian tunnel then she was going out standing tall and not quivering on her knees. That had been the story of her life—falling under the boot and heel of every man in her path who thought she couldn’t take care of herself. That was the furthest thing from the truth. Kaia knew how to survive not only being a pawn to those closest to her, but also as her own deadly force to the world at large. She may not like all that came with her lifestyle, but she knew the ins and outs of it well. And what she knew in this moment was that Andrew didn’t have the advantage he thought he did. She’d survived this long by being observant and careful.

“If he’s the ace in your pocket then you would know that, wouldn’t you?”

Andrew surged forward, but despite the wildness in his eyes Kaia could see he was faltering. Most times when he antagonized her, he could barely contain his glee at throwing whatever he could into her face. He seemed to take pride in trying to trip her up and gloating that he was in all ways better than she could ever be. This Andrew was too skittish to know much of anything. Kaia wanted to tip his hand and see what had him shaken.

“I think you tried to sell me out and he laughed in your face. You, my dear brother, are a much bigger catch. All these years of puffing yourself up and you think they’d want little old me?”

Kaia let a puff of laughter bounce off Andrew’s rage filled face. She didn’t care anymore. She was tired of biting her tongue.

“So, you tell me why you’re afraid? That you’ve left me to clean up your messes and scraps for years and that’s all the feds need to nail your ass to the wall? Have you ever considered Douglas played you just like I did?”

This time Kaia let loose a full-throated peal of laughter that echoed in the tunnel. “Perhaps he knew this would be your reaction. What did you do when he told you? Tip your hand and try to destroy evidence of crimes he never even knew you committed, huh?”

Andrew howled in anger and paced before Kaia. Some kind of resignation seeped from him and that scared her. Resignation meant there was nothing left to lose. She took the small space now between their bodies as he paced, muttering to himself, to slip just out of arm’s reach and make a beeline towards the direction from whence they’d come. Andrew lit after her, catching the shoulder of her coat and toppling them both to the ground. Kaia kicked and bucked beneath his weight until she was lifted away by her arms and spun to face the flushed face of a blonde man who looked amused and angry all at the same time.

“I got her Kev,” he shouted at a blur moving past them.

Kaia recognized the lingering scent of Kevin for only a split second before the man placed her to her feet and guided her quickly out of the tunnel. He placed his body between Kaia and the arch, blocking her view of Kevin and Andrew no matter how she jostled to get past him.

“Hey! Let Kev handle it, okay?”

He chuckled at the daggers Kaia shot his way.

“And who the hell are you?”

“I’m Ruzek. Cool to finally meet you.”

***

Even through the clatter and jangle of his star bouncing on the chain around his neck, the fabric of his jacket rustling against his skin, his boots on the roughening terrain, and his heart pounding in his ears Kevin was focused on Kaia’s voice. He’d never heard the raw anger in her words in this manner. This was nothing like their first meeting at the café. This voice was devoid of feeling. It was calculated and mean and confident in a way in which Kevin found both pride and fear.

He’d watched Andrew drag Kaia down the path ahead. There’d been no sighting of them emerging on the other side of the tunnel so he was bound to come across them sooner than later. Still, he was bracing himself for the sound of a gunshot or a cry of pain. Anger boiled over in his blood and clouded his vision as the mouth of the tunnel neared. He watched the shadow of Kaia appearing in the faint light of the opening and then the rapid downward motion of her being tackled to the ground by Andrew.

He ran shoulder to shoulder with Ruzek and trusted his partner to pull her away from the fray while he focused every bit of his fury on pulling Andrew to his knees and letting nature take its course. Kevin knew he could feel the wool of Andrew’s coat beneath his fingers then the sweaty slickness of the man’s throat and then the grip of his service weapon in his grasp. When reality caught up with his anger, Kevin was holding the gun to Andrew’s temple. Kevin adjusted until it rested between Andrew’s eyes without hesitation.

“Please give me another reason,” Kevin gritted out. “Please.”

The grip of the Glock was imprinting into his palm just as knew the barrel was doing the same to Andrew’s forehead. He increased the pressure until he heard a whimper from the coward.

“Kev, we got it. Stand down.”

Halstead’s voice increased in volume as he moved closer. He clamped a hand on Kevin’s forearm. The slight pressure of Halstead trying to lower Kevin’s arm didn’t faze him. He held strong.

“Stand down! Atwater!”

Kevin kept his eyes trained on his prey, itching to hear the echo of a shot in the air. He held his ground for a few more moments before dropping his arm and letting Halstead move in place to cuff Andrew and drag him off somewhere in the distance. Kevin took long moments to bring his breathing back to even and get his anger under control. He didn’t want to push that energy onto Kaia and he certainly needed to get himself together before he had to write paper on the arrest.

“Where’s Kaia?”

Kevin swept his eyes over the collection of FBI and CPD vehicles on scene. The aversion of eyes let Kevin know something wasn’t right and he’d be damned if a closer look didn’t reveal Kaia in the back of any cruiser and Voight’s SUV missing among the cluster of vehicles.

“They took her,” Burgess started plainly. “White shirts and the feds. All I know.”

***

Kaia didn’t like owing anyone favors, but it that was what it took to save her own neck then so be it. She couldn’t stomach the possibilities of having to rot away in a cage for the foreseeable future. Maybe she could withstand a few years and then slip away to live out the rest of her life. At the moment, that seemed her only option. She gave Voight a long glance then did the same for Douglas. She felt the trap of her life closing in around her shoulders once again. This time it didn’t feel as oppressive, but it was there.

Voight, balanced on the edge of the desk, leaned towards her. Beneath the gruff, Kaia could see at least some good intentions. She knew how the world sometimes required you to exchange the bits and pieces of yourself in order to protect your own well-being and those you loved. She also understood how eventually those tradeoffs got so difficult that you were shifting one bad for another just to get a little bit of a respite.

“Kevin is like my son,” he began. “He’s a good man and an even better cop.”

Kaia hadn’t seen anything that would challenge that even if it was coated in lies and under the shadow of a badge. She had her feelings about both the lies and the badge, but Kevin had saved her life and heart. He’d made love to her with tenderness and protected not only her body but defended her spirit fiercely.

“I want what’s best for him and getting himself all wrapped up in a felon doesn’t seem the best idea.”

Kaia sucked in a breath and tightened her jaw. There it was. The deal was off. Kevin may be a liar, but he was a liar with a purpose. He bent the truth, reality, and sometimes bodies to do what he had to for a cause. She was far from that. If he was willing to accept her where she stood, then why couldn’t she give him the same shot? Now Kaia wasn’t sure she would have the chance. He was going to sacrifice a life he’d chosen in order to be with her? To walk away from his chosen family and his city in order to try to build something with her. And if he did? What kind of life would she be asking him to accept? She had money, stashed away even after all the FBI forfeitures, but what did that matter if he couldn’t live the life he thought made his city a better place?

“So, this is your very subtle way of telling me I’m not good enough for him?”

“That’s how you see it?” Voight moved to the empty chair beside her. “I was thinking the opposite. I’ve known him long enough to know that once an idea gets in his head there’s no going back. You aren’t just in his head. You’re in his heart.”

“That seems a little too romantic of a notion for you,” Kaia countered.

“It is. So, I’m gonna work the angle to suits me. I need Atwater whole and present in my unit. That only happens if you’re around. I’m gonna make sure that happens.”

“A fairytale!”

Voight gave a smirk and crossed his arms.

“We’re gonna offer you a deal. Let the two of you have a chance at something without all this hanging over your heads.”

Kaia gave him a pointed stare and dipped her head for him to continue.

“You go into protective custody until the trial, give your testimony, and then you’re free.”

Kaia let the heft of the final words of his promise weigh in the air for a moment. “Free? Under what conditions? I’m quite sure there is always a caveat.”

Agent Douglas took the chance to join the conversation. “No caveat.”

“Why?”

“Sometimes we have to sacrifice to get what we want. Play to the lesser of two evils if you will.”

“And that’s me? What do I end up with?”

“Your name is clear. No arrests, or charges, have ever appeared for you. You may be dirty, but you’ve always kept your name clean. Played it a lot smarter than your brother.”

She certainly had. Maybe that was her saving grace. This was the chance she’d been aching for—to slip back into society like her entire life hadn’t existed under the shadow of crime and blood and secrets. What else was there for her to lose? She wasn’t really free now and this was a sliver of a chance to break away from the worries holding her down.

“Tell me what I need to do. And I want every detail in writing.”  
***

Kevin knew this was a bad idea. He knew that all protocol forbade him from doing exactly what he was doing. But he also knew that he had a chance and he was taking it. It hadn’t taken much effort to see the address casually on top of the file at his desk wasn’t left there by accident. Nor was the hastily scribbled note of the next morning’s impending transport. Kevin needed to get to Kaia. He needed to see her and ground himself in the scent, taste, and feel of her. However the means to do so came to be didn’t matter.

Snow had started to fall again and the streets heading away from the 21st were starting to empty. The gathering slush muffled the sound of his tires meeting the road and Kevin latched onto the uneven pattern of it. It was some measure of soothing. If he concentrated, the rhythm slowed down enough he could pace his breathing with it. The longer he drove, the bright lights and cheer of the city’s center preparing for the holiday season gave way to sleepy residential neighborhoods and then finally the outskirts of town dotted with hotels and motels. Kevin followed the stilted voice of the GPS until he pulled into the neon washed parking lot of a motel that had seen better days. The flat roofed, single story building seemed to be disappearing under the blanket of snow picking up speed.

The singular dark SUV in the far reach of the lot was the only indication he was truly in the right place. Kevin unfolded himself from his car and took a quick glance up at the sky. He let the melting flakes against his skin center him and started towards one of the only occupied rooms. He could see a yellow border of light peeking from around the curtains of Room 6. Kevin rapped his knuckles directly next to the tarnished number.

“Kai, it’s me.”

He heard the faint footsteps rise and fall until they came to a stop behind the door. Kevin gave another rapid knock then placed his palm flat against the wood.

“Look, I know I’m not supposed to be here. I got some intel and they’ll be moving you in the morning. I just needed to see you. Please.”

Kevin listened to the creak of the floorboards as she shifted her weight behind the barrier. The flip of the deadbolt and clank of the chain sliding free settled his heart. When the door swung open to Kaia glancing up at him it doubled in speed again. Kevin moved into the room and did the only thing he knew how. He pulled her flush to his body and molded her to him until he had some measure of peace.

He stepped back from her and peeled the coat, gloves, and hat from his body. They drifted to the ground around their feet like snow. Kevin brushed them to the side with his boots, backing Kaia deeper into the room until he was culling her beneath his body atop the thin bedspread. He slid an arm beneath her waist to bring her closer. He wanted to speak, but what was there he could tell her? The trial was months away. She was being hidden from the world until then. Her entire life was upending and this could very well be the last time he’d ever see her. What could he say? That he loved her? That his life had shifted in a few short months in ways he couldn’t understand?

Kevin needed to store away everything he could because nothing was certain. He moved his cold fingers to lift the shirt from her frame, watched her shiver beneath the temperature change and press more tightly against his body. He kissed her, slow and deep, until he felt the flush of heat swell between them. He took time disrobing her—wanting to remember each plane, line, and curve of her body.

Kaia moved beneath him, snaking her limbs around him until they were a tangle of skin and discarded clothing. Kevin hooked one shapely leg against his waist and moved slowly, willing time to slow down enough where morning would not come. He knew that it eventually would and he wanted to spend all of the hours between dark and light inside and above her—looking down onto the way her brow knitted in pleasure, how she tried and failed to hold back her voice when he touched the exact right spot. Kevin buried his face in the crux of her shoulder to get closer. He catalogued the way she said his name and how her lips suckled his neck and the fleeting touch of her fingers against his back before her nails dug in. He rode with her over each crest until he pulled her from the valley to the next one and the next before everything he was melted into her.  
***

The sun, now peeking its way around the curtains, shifted across the room in degrees until Kevin could no longer ignore the brightness building on the other side of his lids. He pushed them open and was glad he did. Kaia, golden in slumber against his chest, had yet to stir. He thought he’d captured enough memories the night before. He hadn’t and he knew he would never tire of watching how the world moved around her and how she shifted it with her presence. Kevin wasn’t sure how this would all work. There was the ghost of knowledge in the back of his mind reminding him Kaia was still who she had always been under the eyes of the law. Still, he could drown out those thoughts by letting himself consider the weight of her in his arms. It was enough to clear the doubts.

The sun brightened even more and Kevin knew before long there would be a knock at the door and the clock would start. Six months. A half a year. Damn near a lifetime if his heart was telling the story. Kevin could survive it. There really wasn’t any other choice if he wanted Kaia free and clear. And he did. More than anything he could think of in recent memory. He’d be restless. He’d be lonely. He’d be empty, but he’d be waiting.


End file.
